Watched the movie “The Vow” and realized how much similar some of our lives were too...

The Vow 

I recently watched some parts of the movie ‘The Vow’ again. I somehow felt I related to the turmoil the protagonist goes through.

 I am too going through a similar kind of pain. No matter how hard I try to explain, my wife tends to forget the things I have done for her. In fact, many of us are going through a similar kind of pain. The scenarios may be different from the film’s plot. In the movie, the protagonist is trying hard to help his wife remember their marriage and the love they shared for each other because she has lost her memory.

 It is unfortunate, but this is the story of every love relationship today.

 Many of us are struggling to remind our partners about the love and affection we have for them. They can see the efforts we are putting in, but simply don’t acknowledge it. They realize the efforts but for some reasons unknown, they ignore or simply don’t wish to accept the fact that we love them so much.

 They have all set their own parameters of ideal love. They are so much in love with their own beliefs that they are unable to see the toll it is taking on their relationships. They only believe what they believe is true. 

Seems Like Nature Programs Them to Fend for Themselves From Birth

“Bahut Mar Khayega,” the girl retorted as she continued to run ahead of his rickshaw. She must have been barely 5 to 6 years old or lesser. Her answer was spontaneous as the rickshaw driver barked at her for almost coming in front of his speeding rickshaw. She and her friends or maybe siblings dashed into the road suddenly emerging out of the compound that the railways used for storing their materials. The girl could have come under the rickshaw if she had wandered a foot ahead than she did. The moment I saw her dash out of the compound and rickshaw speeding, I almost skipped a heartbeat. However, she was oblivious to the danger that was just averted. She continued to run and her sibling or friends chased her oblivious to what could have just happened.

I could not help but think about her reaction. She was a frail young girl barely two and a half feet. The rickshaw driver was hefty having a pongee and overweight. Had he decided to manhandle her, she did not stand a chance.

This is the biggest difference among the children growing under the shadows of their parents. We infuse so much fear in them about everything that our children immediately curl back into a shell when faced with such situations. They are so dependent that they grow panicky. They seldom find the spontaneity to fend for themselves.

On the other hand, these children playing on the streets have very little scope to fall back on their parents that they grow conditioned to fight their own fight. They have no one but themselves to fend for themselves. They are ready to face the consequences of their decisions and never hesitate to make one, unlike our children who tend to waste a lot of time thinking and fearing the consequences.

Madhav Rao Peshwa was just sixteen when he was made the next Peshwa of the Maratha empire. Alexander was just 16 years when he inherited the throne. There are innumerable people in history who achieved extraordinary feats at a young age. However, some parents still accompany their kids to the SSC and HSC examination halls.

Protecting our children are good, but protecting them to the level that they become dependent on you for every small thing is bad. Don’t think so much on their behalf that you make them incapable of making a decision and facing its consequences. We must give our children room to discover their independent strengths. Sometimes, we must detach ourselves from their problems and let them fight their own fights. Only then will they bloom to become independent individuals who are capable of making their own decisions and will be able to confidently challenge the challenges with the words, “Bahut mar khayega.”

Aren’t we all behaving like this in your relationships?

 

 “I wash my feet every time I step out,” my mother shouted as she rubbed her feet against the bathroom flooring. She had just stepped out to keep our dustbin outside the house for the sweeper to pick up the garbage. The alley leading to the staircase had a lot of dust settled on it. Our sweeper only visits once in two days to collect the garbage and sweep the staircase and alley. It was more than three days since he had come as he had caught the weather.

 My mother could have swept the floor or mopped it. I also happen to step out while I perform the pooja in the morning. I light an incense stick on the beam adjacent to the threshold.

 As I heard her words, a thought crossed my mind, “Aren’t we all behaving like my mom did in our relationships as well. We keep complaining that the other person is not behaving right, but we never take the effort to clean the discord. We just try to present ourselves as righteous rather than trying to clean the floor.

 

Modern Day Mothers’ Dilemma

The discussion began with a small project my colleague had to complete for her five years old son. It was a project given in his school. They had to collect pictures of the different modes of transportation currently being used: rail, road, and water. We discussed the different car brands available and also about the boats, ships, yachts, and hovercrafts.

The discussion headed in the direction of how cumbersome the projects were for those tiny souls. “Well, it’s homework for the parents rather than the children,” another colleague commented. Her child’s school too gave her child such assignments and she too engaged in such homework completion tasks.

“I feel so guilty that I cannot do full justice to his assignments. Well, some of his friend’s mothers who are housewives come with such brilliantly finished products. I just cannot match it,” another colleague shared her guilt.

“I remember completing drawings for my sister-in-law,” I added.

“How can they expect so small children to surf the net and get these images,” another colleague added.

“But the children today are so smart,” another colleague added. “Yeah, my six years old son knows more about my iPhone than I do,” a male colleague joined in.

The talk gradually drifted towards the sweet things each other’s children do. We reminisced the incident at the office gathering where one of our colleague’s son ended up answering “My Name is Sheela” when the anchor asked him his name. Nowadays, it’s “Deewana Kar Raha Hai” from Raaz3 that a colleague quickly added.

“My son comes home and names a different girl from his class as his best friend,” that colleague further shared.

“Oh! So we have a Casanova in the making,” I jokingly added.

“No, I am happy he does that. At least, I know that his sexual preferences are normal. After listening to the various news and stories in office, it is really scary,” she commented with a sigh of relief.

 Just then somebody informed us that our CEO is entering the office. All of us scampered towards our respective desks. 

 

2020 – The year that doesn’t seem to end.

    Today, people across the world are eagerly looking forward to 2021 with the hope that the next year will bring something good.

    I, though, didn’t have much to look forward to considering the various events that transpired in the last two days.

    But, I just got the news that BABUCHA, our neighbor’s grandson met with an accident and succumbed to his injuries. 

    Though he was thirty years old, I can still remember his childhood days and the love he showered on me. He always shared food with me. In fact, he used to always take two parts – one for me and one for him. He always shoved chocolates into my mouth when he was a child. Later they shifted to Ulhasnagar and we lost touch. But, his childhood love and mischief are fresh in my mind like they happened yesterday.

    I was feeling low because of the turbulences in my life, but this has completely shattered me. I cannot get his face off my mind. I feel like I want to cry aloud. I am feeling very low.

    I just don’t feel like doing anything.

‘Bichde Sabhi Bari Bari’

This line from the song in the film ‘Pyaasa’ fits my plight perfectly. I seem to have perfected this uncanny knack of loosing friends one after the other. No matter how hard I try, all my good friends have evaporated from my life like the water on a sunny highway. They gradually fade away from my life very much like the silhouette of the person on a foggy wintry morning does when he decides to accelerate and move ahead after walking some distance besides you.

 It’s amazing how fast I tend to loose touch with good friends. I seem to do it with unprecedented perfection. Friends whose friendships I had cherished have all gone away from my life one by one. It’s not that I part with friends on an unfriendly note. They just seem to dwindle into the thin air after some time. It is not that I do not make efforts to retain them. They just seem to grow indifferent or move to a distant land and then grow light years apart or vanish into some other galaxy.

 I end up making new friends only to loose them one fine day. I make new friends in the anticipation that they will stay only to meet with the disappointment of loosing them some day. History keeps repeating itself. Some new friends have already gone, some have begun to drift apart, some will in the near future….The lines just keep coming back to me, “Bichide sabhi baari baari…”

Imtehanon Ka Daur Kab Gujrega?

Many a times I have questioned myself whether I can get out of this situation. The answers are mixed. Sometimes I feel I can and at other times I realize that no matter how hard you try your destiny has been written and you cannot go beyond the written word.

 I have often read the rags to riches stories. How some one with his sheer grit, perseverance and belief changed his destiny. But, then come to think of it, his destiny could have been written that way. If it is not so, then why does one who does the same things doesn’t get an equal success. I have seen artists dedicate their entire lives to art and lead a paupers life. While someone who is less passionate and hard working climbs the popularity charts and becomes a celebrity.

The answers are not convincing. I feel if you are destined to do become successful, only then will you get the dedication, perseverance and patience to accomplish your goals. If not, you will continue to fight against odds and loose. After which you will whine how unfair life is and continue to try again. Then, someone who doesn’t have the faintest of the ideas of what you have undergone and the efforts you have put in will come and tell you that you need to be passionate about what you do and put it more hard work. Just having an aspiration is not enough. Saw XYZ in your field, how hardworking and dedicated he is. He practices day-in and day out unlike you. They will rub salt on your wounds and if that was not enough, from nowhere life will fling a supplement from a leading newspaper featuring your Mr XYZ chilling out in a social do surrounded by some on the best looking beauties in town.  

Sleepwalking

This morning as I was half heartedly walking to the station to go to work I saw a sight that was a visual representation of my thoughts this morning –Why do I have to drag myself to work? Why can’t I live life on my terms?

 As I pulled myself towards the station I saw a mother take her daughter to school. They were seated inside the rickshaw. The mother was holding the small girl upright because she was completely asleep. She was wavering left to right in completely sync with the turns and bumps the rickshaw was manoeuvring.

My state was no different. In fact, each one of us is like that child. The only difference is that our eyes are open, but our minds are asleep. Our heart wants to do something, but we are forcing ourselves to do otherwise. We are all moving ahead like that girl. We are all sleepwalking.

Generation Gap

Generation Gap

I boarded my regular 8:40am Belapur local this morning. The train was pretty empty but I did not get to sit till Vashi. A family boarded the train at Govandi. They were perhaps going on a vacation or maybe returning.  This I concluded because they were lugging themselves into the train with a number of huge traveling bags.

The family comprised of a father, mother, son, and daughter. (Let me assure you that I am not gender-biased and the order of listing is purely based on their respective ages)

At Vashi a few seats got vacant. I sat opposite a middle-aged man while that family found places in the row adjacent to which I was sitting. The young girl was sitting just opposite me. She was not very beautiful, but you would not feel repulsive-looking at her either. As the train kept moving ahead I happened to catch glimpses of her at regular intervals. After a while, I noticed that the middle-aged man, who was sitting in front of me, too was looking in the same direction. He was looking in that direction with great focus and concentration. Out of sheer curiosity and also because I did not have something more constructive to do, I decided to check out that man’s area of interest. I strained my posture and without looking too obvious directed my view in that direction. I had assumed that he would be ogling at that teenage girl. But, soon I realized that my assumption was not as great as I prided it to be.  After little efforts, it was confirmed that he was eyeing the mother of that teenage girl.  

 I smiled and told myself, “Wow! What a classic example of Generation Gap.”

 

THOUGHTSCOOP - CIRCA 3000

Life 988 years down the line....

I came home after a horribly exhausting day at college, literally threw my stuff and went off to sleep....

After a few hours some weird sounds broke my sleep.I could hear robots in my living room.I happened to see myself in the mirror and found my own self too transformed into a PROGRAMMED human.

I was almost amnesic.I had no idea what I had been doing before the life I was currently witnessing... or rather the non-living world before me which seemed so life-like.
I gave in to my curiosity and got out of my home. I could see a changed "SUN" in the sky that day. Clouds seemed different and so did the trees and water. Everything had been transformed for the better.

As I got into the streets, I could see microchips scattered here and there. Everything had turned digital. Everyone was a robot. The strange part was that we had all turned into robots but we looked so much human.We talked, we smiled, we laughed, we walked and did things just the way we used to do. I could only recall this much from my memory chip which was almost formatted in the transition. I asked a friendly looking girl where was I. She beamed at me and replied-"Welcome to 3000 A.D. We have been teleporting everyone to this awesome world and you have been the 10001st person to get teleported. Have a great journey in this world of eternity"....

Saying this she showed me that I had been inked with the number 10001 on my palm.I was pleasantly surprised seeing the digitally advanced world.

Image Courtesy: Google Images

I could see vehicles in the sky. None were on the streets with robots driving them. What a scene it was!!!
Some fascinating magnetic cars were being driven in the air....

Life seemed so much better in 3000 A.D.

But life, it seemed, had not changed much even in 3000 A.D. Just like 2012, the moment life felt good, it sprang a nasty surprise. This surprise was in form of a loud siren which all other robots scuttling. Suddenly, everyone had the same expression... the expression of fear! They hurried off into places of shelter while I ignorantly stood there in the open. What looked like a storm followed; only this storm preceeded a huge air ship which descended vertically. I watched with my tin mouth wide open before I saw a shower of light! It came from a barrage of laser gun fire from what seemed to be robot soldiers (well, they were all dressed in the same uniform so I assumed such).

The air ship returned fire! Now all ammunition of the soldiers, the tanks, infantry etc. were rendered useless. The ship's fire destroyed everything in its path... houses, tanks, shelter, buildings, roads, robots... I ran as fast my metal legs would carry me, but I was caught bang in the middle of the firing. The future seemed to blur; all that mattered right now was survival, which seemed unlikely! What I didn't realize was that I was running in circles to avoid gunfire from the soldiers and the ship. I ended up running towards the ship which snapped me into it through a huge light ray. The jerk with which I landed on board the ship knocked me out.

When I awoke, I was surrounded by life forms which were composed of flesh, unlike us robots. They were gazing at me with piercing eyes. "Wh.. Where am I? Who are you? What do you want?" These questions tried coming out but I choked. Sensing my paranoia, one life form answered "Greetings, dear robot! We're living creatures from the planet Quantonia! The print on your palm is fresh, which means you've come in new. We're trying to research how we can acquire an exoskeleton like yours. We are light years ahead of you in technology. Acquiring this exoskeleton will make us INVINCIBLE!" They laughed in unison and looked at me with mirthless eyes.

"No! No! Let me go! LET ME OUT!" was all I could scream as they assembled their space age tools to experiment on me. I was their guniea pig, or guniea robot. They would find out all they could about robots through me, and then, they assured, they would kill me.  

All the tools were kept on the table. My screams fell in deaf ears, the cuffs bonding my hands and feet were too strong to be broken. I got tired after a while, rested my head and accepted this cruel twist that fate threw at me.

All of a sudden, I could feel someone hitting me.

It was my younger brother trying to wake me up as I was crying incessantly in my sleep.

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Kya Likhu?

I have made a resolution to write something everyday. But, I am grappled by the same old question –what do I write about today. I have opened a blank document and I am staring at it. No thoughts what so ever. Why is life such a bore yaar?


Saali Zindagi Apni Hoke Bhi Kabhi Apni Nahi Hoti.
Tum Jisse Nafrat Karte Ho Usiki Jigri Ban Jati .
Yeh Saali Zindagi Apni Hoke Bhi Kabhi Apni Nahi Hoti.

Whatever you think is right for you. Fate thinks otherwise. I guess it loves to play with our emotions. The more troubled we feel, the greater the joy it experiences.

I guess I will only write bad about life today. So I am ending the post for today.

Procastination

It has been almost a month and a half since I made a resolution to write everyday. I must say I have not fared well. This is my first post after 1/1/2012. Why I haven’t written can be called a cumulative effect. I was busy the initial few days of the new year (read it as I had all the time but I was faking busy and was feeling lazy) and then I procrastinated.

Well, today I am writing because my friend has reprimanded me for not having adequate posts on my blog. I want to get regular and will devote some time everyday. I know. I know. You will say that you made a similar New Year resolution. But, I am saying this because I wanted to finish writing atleast some short stories I have in mind. If I do not do it now; I will never be able to do it later.

I don’t mind writing something crass, but I will just keep typing into the key pad. There is so much to write and so little words to express them. It’s a promise. You will find one post –good or bad, everyday.

Is the world really going to the dogs?

I read a headline in this morning’s leading newspaper – ‘Mob cashes in on accident that claims 8-year-old’. This incident seems to have happened late Sunday night when the victim was traveling with her family on an Activa. The milk van rammed into them from behind and all the three of them fell. The girl came under the wheel of the van and was crushed to death instantly.

A mob gathered and ransacked the van. After some resistance the cops some how managed to calm the situation. But, what happened later was even more tragic. It seems after the scene was cleared, some passers-by came and collected the blood stained milk bags and sold it to local tea vendors. After reading this, I was left wondering as to what was more tragic –the girl child being run over or the incident that occurred later. I mean how much can we stoop. Well, this is not the first time such an incident happened. People have packaged their avariciousness in good intentions and looted sites of disaster like building collapse, bus or train accidents etc. But, the underlying questions is, doesn’t our conscience prick us. How can we bring ourselves to think of flicking valuables when there a innumerable people groaning and writhing in pain around. Or for that matter from a corpse that lies drenched in blood or even disfigured.

Though the phrase says that it’s a dog-eat-dog world; I am sure that this seldom happens in the dog’s world. At least I have not come across any instances that are recorded in the resources available to me where a dog attacked a dog and then ate it. What I am trying to drive here is that despite being animals and having carnivorous instincts, animals seldom commit such a heinous act. But we being humans, the so called evolved and the superior among all living beings, we don’t even bat an eyelid for a second before we commit such immoral acts. When I read instances where dogs put their life at stake to save humans, I am forced to think if the world, in the literal sense, is going to the dogs.”

Sweet Cravings

The other day I had this desperate craving for sweets. So I suggested to my friends that we visit a sweet shop. My friend teased me, if I was getting ‘pregnancy-craving’. I replied, “It’s very much possible. Life has been screwing me day-in and day-out; round the year. And, if that ever happens, I am sure, whatever comes out will not be something worth a celebration.”

When life knocks you down, you have two choices- stay down or get up.

Your life is the sum of all the choices you make and leave. There is nothing like a right decision or a wrong one. You need to take a decision and then make it right. Henry Ford said, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.”

Life isn’t about cribbing over a glass of spilled milk. It’s about saying, “Oh! I can’t have this one. Let me find another glass.” How we perceive a certain situation totally defines how we feel about that situation. When you face a challenge, you can decide to crib about it for the rest of your life or you can decide to find a way to overcome it. Whatever you decide to do will influence how much that challenge will affect you.

Life is all about facing it with the right attitude. It’s about looking at challenges in the eye and telling it, “Go find someone else as weak as you.” Winning is all about developing the right perspective. “Either the glass is half empty or the glass is half filled.” How you see it decides how you will accept it. Developing the right attitude is very important. When Thomas Edison asked about the number of failures he faced before developing the electric bulb, he simply answered, “I did not fail. I just discovered a few hundred ways it could not be done.” Imagine what would have happened if Thomas Edison had quit after the initial failures. He could only succeed because he did not quit.

Just Writing

Well, its been long time since I have written something. Honestly, I don't know what I am going to write about. Right now, I am just typing what's coming to my mind.

Not much has happened in life. The same mundane rountine i.e. home-office-home-office-home-office... I have been wanting to do a lot of things. But, when I plan to sit down to do it, I just feel repulsive. Hope I can get over this syndrome soon.

For now, got to go.


Chow

DESTINY’S CHILDREN

17th June 2009
Wednesday

Today, once again, life has proven that it is the Big Boss, and we are mere puppets dancing to its instructions. No matter what, you will get what you are destined to get.

I always leave home around 8:55 to catch the 9:09 am Belapur train. It takes me around 10 – 12 minutes to reach the station. This means, I reach the platform by approx. 9:06am. This gives me sufficient time to reach on time for the train. However, today was a little different. A little bit of lethargy crept in and I left home after 9:00am. I assumed that I would not make it on time for my train, and therefore began walking leisurely; soaking in the morning sun and hustle bustle around.

In the Right Place at the Right Time: 13 May 2009 –Wednesday

There is no update on the screaming old lady. In fact, I haven’t seen her after that screaming episode. Perhaps, she will just spring-up from now where and instigate an onslaught of questions in my mind.

Actually, I am not writing this piece to update you on that lady. It’s more because of an insight I had yesterday (So lazy. You may think again). I chanced upon this thought while waiting for the train (Yet another coincidence. The trains and platforms seem to be my only source and places of inspiration).

I had been to our Vashi office for a meeting. After wrapping it up, I needed to urgently rush back to Belapur. I reached the platform almost panting after my super brisk walk to the station. When I reached the platform the indicator displayed a train that was expected almost 9 minutes later. I must have missed the earlier one by a few minutes.

Muttering a few cusses, I settled on one of the vacant benches. I began to think how far the train must be at the moment. That’s when, suddenly, this thought came to me that I was at the wrong station. No. No. Not the wrong station, as-in to go to Belapur. I was very much in the right station, but not the right station to be at that point of the time to board the train that was expected. Sounds confusing? Let me put it again. I mean at that time the train I needed to board could have been nearing Mankhurd. So, If I was at Mankhurd at that moment, I could have boarded that train. Or if I would have been somewhere in Sanpada at that time, I could have boarded the previous local train that I had missed. See, being at the right place at the right time is so important. So, I waited for this place to become the right place and the right time to arrive. This happened after 9 minutes and I boarded the train and headed back to Belapur office.

In the Right Place at the Right Time: 13 May 2009 –Wednesday

There is no update on the screaming old lady. In fact, I haven’t seen her after that screaming episode. Perhaps, she will just spring-up from now where and instigate an onslaught of questions in my mind.

Actually, I am not writing this piece to update you on that lady. It’s more because of an insight I had yesterday (So lazy. You may think again). I chanced upon this thought while waiting for the train (Yet another coincidence. The trains and platforms seem to be my only source and places of inspiration).

I had been to our Vashi office for a meeting. After wrapping it up, I needed to urgently rush back to Belapur. I reached the platform almost panting after my super brisk walk to the station. When I reached the platform the indicator displayed a train that was expected almost 9 minutes later. I must have missed the earlier one by a few minutes.

Muttering a few cusses, I settled on one of the vacant benches. I began to think how far the train must be at the moment. That’s when, suddenly, this thought came to me that I was at the wrong station. No. No. Not the wrong station, as-in to go to Belapur. I was very much in the right station, but not the right station to be at that point of the time to board the train that was expected. Sounds confusing? Let me put it again. I mean at that time the train I needed to board could have been nearing Mankhurd. So, If I was at Mankhurd at that moment, I could have boarded that train. Or if I would have been somewhere in Sanpada at that time, I could have boarded the previous local train that I had missed. See, being at the right place at the right time is so important. So, I waited for this place to become the right place and the right time to arrive. This happened after 9 minutes and I boarded the train and headed back to Belapur office.

The Screaming Old Woman

People think she is insane. But, I am sure life has done this to her. I always see her on the foot over-bridge leading to the harbour line platform at Kurla. I think she frequents the harbour line platform, and must not be going anywhere else. Because, whenever I am traveling to office or visiting friends in Chembur, I bump into her. But, I have never seen her late evenings when I return from office. Or perhaps, I did not really bother to consciously check out her presence at that time of the hour.

She is always staring at the pandemonium of the crowd rushing to office. At times, I have seen her talking endlessly to someone in the crowd who is impatiently waiting for the delayed train. And whose mind is grappled with this thought that whether he will make it into the train or not. Nevertheless, she keeps speaking unmindful of the ignorance. But, there is a certain amount of affection in her tone, which one would find in a mother’s towards her sibling. But, often she is just complaining. She is always trying to justify her stand on somebody’s wrong doing. Unfortunately, no body understands.

This morning was a little different from other mornings. She was not there on the over-bridge when I entered the station. But after sometime I could hear loud scolding sounds. After listening to the voice a little attentively, I realized that it was the same old woman. Today, she was pretty vociferous and animated in her rants. For a change everyone was looking in her direction and hearing her scream. But, the unfortunate part again was that -nobody was listening. That includes me too.

As I waited for the train to arrive, I began to think about the reason that must have forced this old lady to such a state. Perhaps, her children must have disowned her when she needed them the most. She must have undergone so many hardships and made equally unimaginable sacrifices to make their life better. I began to feel miserable with the mere thought of how painful she must have felt to be disowned by your children who are an extension of your own flesh and blood. You made your life nonexistent to give them their existence, and suddenly you just don’t exist for them. There cannot be a greater pain than the pain of rejection from someone who means the world to you.

Then again my mind raced in a different direction as I began to hear her dialect. She was speaking in a language that sounded pretty close to Bhojpuri or some other language similar to something spoken by the natives of UP or Bihar. That’s when I began to think again. Could it so happen that she must have lost her family to some villainous atrocity? Or was it some family feud? The questions started to pour and the answers were no where near.

For a moment I felt I should just walk across and strike a conversation with her. But then, something insane within held me back. My heart cringed with this thought that her story would remain unsaid and unheard. It will be lost forever.

My thoughts were racing in all directions and were growing overwhelming. I could not suppress them longer. Thankfully, just then I saw my train arrive. So I bundled my thoughts and boarded it. I could still her tirades. They grew faint as the train began to move ahead. Very much like her memories must have become in the minds of her near ones.